Eighteen

I turned 18 last week, on the 25th of March. And I don't know if I have a reason to be ecstatic or otherwise. It was ironic to actually spend my birthday at the funeral parlor. Ironic in the sense that birthdays are supposed to celebrate life. But the real point is that I am now 18. Old enough to vote. Old enough to find a job. Old enough to flash my driver's license at walking pedestrians as you drive by (Well, that is if I have a driver's license).

Being 18, to some, is the age wherein you start having second thoughts with life. There are some who fear that they are getting older. Yet, there are others who interpret this age as the "Age of Doing Whatever You Like, and Nobody Should Give An *F About It". For me, it's that chapter of one's life is not about getting laid, or having your first shot of premium vodka, or showing off your pubic hair to your unsuspecting friends while you scream out loud, "CAN'T TOUCH THIS BIATCH!". It's about emerging from your shell. From your childish shell that's been shackling you for quite some time.

I don't give much importance to the fact that I am now 18, and should enjoy special privileges. It's a "coming of age"; big deal. I don't get amused of myself when I'm getting older. In fact, Reyshimar will still be the same old eccentric homicidal maniac, no matter how old he gets.

And that, my friends, is my creed.

Dying and the Like

Death. "The Big Sleep". "The Final Page". "The Sunset". "The Climax". The...The...Well, there are actually numerous metaphorical descriptions of death, but I seem to have forgotten most of them. But I think the one that really appeals to me and stands out as my favorite is that death is an  "Awakening". I believe that life continues even after death. We re-awaken in another world after we passed away from the other we left behind. Death is not merely the Big End. But rather a continuation, a sequel perhaps. We don't merely die, rot away and that's that.We continue on living, in what most of us call the afterlife. Who knows what's in store for us in that other world. Maybe we will finally take never-ending rest  from the worries and problems we had during our stay in the physical world. Maybe we will finally seek eternal paradise.

Beginning right now, as I am writing this blog entry, I have relieved myself from the fear of death. I used to have doubts of  whether or not there is such thing as an afterlife. But when a Tita of mine died on Monday, March 22, 2010, at around 6:00 in the morning, my understanding of death was clarified. Death comes around unexpectedly, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. My family agrees, as well as the rest of the world. Death is a norm. My relatives reminded me that. As a norm, one must accept it as a norm. I hope my Tita accepted it as it was. Her passing was very unexpected. It shocked the whole family tree. But all of us assured ourselves that she is in a better place, a place she may call paradise.

Death comes unexpectedly. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Even Superman (Remember Christopher Reeve?) was not spared from this. I can sense that right now, my Tita expects us to live our lives for a while. And I know she's waiting for us to come...one after another.

The End of Freshman Year: Finally!

It's that time again when you take a long rest from a  long time spent with books and studying your butt off just to get in the Dean's List. Summer's here and it's high time for me to relax, lay myself on the couch and watch life go by in the tube. My first year of college was good for me. I had a good grasp of what it's like to be a college kid and met new faces and went to new places I hadn't visited before. For the long run, college is a wild ride, especially when you've experienced it for the first time. But still, it was a little pain in the buttocks if you ask me how it was being a freshman. Now that the Finals is over (marked by a traumatic Statistics exam), I'm now regaining the teen spirit I lost from overloading myself during those times where I need to sacrifice simple pleasures to fulfill the promise that I would become a Dean's Lister.

Let me indulge myself with the sweet freedom from brain-bending Statistics problems, frustrating subject assignments, and exhausting LTS Outreaches. Yet, I do not have even a single shard of an idea on how to spend this freedom I long yearned.Oh the perils of boredom! It is really annoying when summer's already here and you still don't have anything in mind. Maybe it's because of the trauma I feel after the end of my first year of college. Well at least, it's worth it. The people I met, the many personalities I discovered compensated for the frustrations I had during those days. I couldn't say that college sucked the fun out the naivety in me, but it is college that made me come out of my shell. That made me realize the existence of other people (No offense meant.)

Summer's here and it's time for me to rejuvenate myself. After one last hang-out with my close friends at CPU (Rochelle, Ian, Apols, Jane and Miggy), I begin to realize that I am free, and the fact that I survived the portals of another chapter in my erratic life.

Now, let me just sit for a while and amuse myself with eccentric stuff in the internet. Give me a little time to pull myself together and embrace the summer with desperation.

My Dilemma with Mathematics

To be honest, I'm not very good with numbers. They're tricky little bastards who play tricks with your mind, bending your rationale every time you seek a solution to every mathematical problem. It's not that I hate math, I just hate the frustration I feel every time I come across another statistics problem. People keep telling me that mathematics needs a little effort to master, yet I still have the same old habit of scratching my head silly if I come across a list of sample sets and standard deviations and other confusing statistics-related stuff. Let's just say that I don't have the potential to become a Math-savvy college nerd, nor an average college kid with a love for numbers. Still, I should prioritize and focus all my neurons on this subject. After all, I have plans to enter the Dean's list and get "benefits" at home. Tomorrow's gonna be my last dance with Math 26, the final exam for that subject to say the least. Hope I'll get a higher grade than what I got from last sem.

Blogging: The Best Way to Waste Needless Time

So I started blogging. Big deal. As if anyone could read my posts. I mean, who's interested in the life of a typical college kid? Well, there will only be a teaspoon of souls who are willing to know the what's what in my dull life. Still, I started blogging for two reasons, and two reasons only:

1. I'm bored.
2. I'm bored and I need a hobby.

So that's that. Why spend the summer outside when you can type your thoughts online. And I just realized the mental benefits you can get from blogging mindlessly. I don't want to waste my time, slacking off, watching Oprah and other useless crap. Well, at least I could develop my potential to become a award-winning author by blogging. Someday, perhaps.